Get Pumped For Others' Successes!

Sometimes... when you're going through a difficult period-emotionally, physically, financially-it can be very hard to be happy for others...

Especially if they're accomplishing goals that you have for yourself, such as buying a home, getting married, getting a promotion, having a baby, losing weight...etc. When you really want something, and you're working really hard to get or accomplish it, it can be so discouraging to see someone  swoop in and in a seemingly effortless way, achieve the same goal.

When you're going through a situation like this (and there are plenty of times in life when you will), it's so important to remember that not every moment will be perfect for you...without the downs, you cannot have the ups. You just can't. Knowing this, and fully embracing this nugget of truth, you can celebrate the successes of others much easier.

Be selfless and lift them up, praise them, let them know that you couldn't be happier for them-and be genuine, of course. Love and support those around you, even if it's hard, even if their good fortune in life seems unfair to you. One of my biggest pet peeves in life is hearing people say things like 'They don't deserve that', 'That's not fair, I work hard, why don't I have things handed to me?' Chances are, other people are working very hard, too, and they do deserve rewards and blessings. Chances are, they have intimate moments of kindness with others, moments that you and I can't even imagine, and they're just reaping the rewards of the positivity that they're putting out there. We never know the whole story, and so, we might as well give everyone the benefit of the doubt. Loving and supporting others will only produce more love and support for ourselves and everyone else. 

There are going to be people that you come in contact with that are rude. Mean. Inconsiderate. Dishonest. People that should have shitty karma swirling around them nonstop. And these people seem to have tons of money in the bank, they live in a beautiful home, drive expensive vehicles, vacation multiple times throughout the year...their lives seem perfect. I promise you this-no one has a perfect life. No one is coasting through this life without a care or concern. There's a saying in Christianity that goes 'Everyone has a cross to bear.' So incredibly true. No matter how flawless someone's life may seem, it just isn't so. With all of these wonderful worldly possessions and successes, they may have a family that is crumbling, or their health may be suffering, they may be so incredibly insecure about themselves that they try to fill that void inside with expensive clothes and jewelry, showing it off to others as a way to be able to say 'Look, I'm successful, I'm important, look at what I have.' 

Now, I'm not saying all of this to justify feelings of unfairness towards those that have a bounty of material things...my big huge point here is that jealousy over the successes of others is a waste of precious time and energy. Negativity breeds negativity. Use the time and energy that you do have to improve the world...it pays to love and support others. For everyone. Our first goal in life should be to spread and encourage kindness. No matter what. Yes, it's hard sometimes, but it's so very important.



Is there someone that you know who you can celebrate? Someone that is accomplishing some really cool stuff? Write about it in your journal, or leave a comment below-and don't forget to tell the person! . I'd love to hear about some awesome stuff going on out there. Until next time, I hope you have a positive and kindness filled week. 

Keeping a Journal

Alright, last week we left off with a little homework assignment:

Grab a notebook and a pen and take 30 minutes for yourself…find a calm, quiet place and get comfy. Now take a deep breath and just think about what makes you happy or what would make you happy and let your mind wander.  Let yourself dream and imagine all sorts of things. Don’t limit your thoughts or criticize or judge them. Anything goes here-just let them exist and evolve. Now start paying attention to what makes you tingle. What gives you butterflies in your stomach? What makes you feel excited and alive? Write these things down in your notebook, along with how they make you feel. Excited, nervous, apprehensive, happy? Jot it all down...

 I hope this was fun! I hope this got you thinking about the things in life that make you smile. I hope this got you to slow down a little, take a break from the crazy business of life and allow you to dream new dreams and remember old ones, too. I hope this gave you a little 'Me Time', which we all need to make sure we're taking on a regular basis-Guy/Girl, Young/Old-everyone needs it. So, what did you come up with? Are you getting those butterflies again right now, thinking about it? Or maybe you had a hard time with this little assignment...that's ok, too. 

Either way, this is a great first step in keeping a journal. Journals can be amazingly therapeutic...I keep two. One is for all of my incredibly feel-good, positive, lovey, upbeat, cute, funny and awesome quotes, pictures, sketches, doodles, ideas, thoughts and feelings. I love, love, love this journal-every now and then I'll flip through my past entries and just bask in the memories and fantastic feelings I had going on while writing in it. I love when I come across an inspiring quote that jazzed me up when I wrote it, because it usually jazzes me up again when I re-read it!

My second journal is for when I'm feeling  pissy or annoyed and I don't want to/can't vent to anyone around me-maybe they're having a rough day or I can't reach any of my equally busy friends or family members. I have a hard time allowing myself to voluntarily add to the toxicity of life, too-I try super hard to remain as positive and upbeat as I can and to be uplifting to others, so having this second journal is really helpful in allowing me to release all of my negative stuff, too.

Now, you don't need to have two journals like I do, this is just what works best for me. I really enjoy my journal time and I often give journals as gifts because I truly believe they can help you take productive steps toward what your definition of Wellness is for you. And remember, your journey to Wellness is a personal thing. What matters most is what will make you feel happy and healthy-emotionally and physically. Don't get wrapped up in what others want/think is best for you. Appreciate their intentions and then make the best decision for yourself. 

Here are a couple of links that you may find interesting and helpful. 

http://www.lifeoptimizer.org/2009/08/04/keeping-a-journal/

http://www.squidoo.com/journalwritingprompts

Now for this week's homework: Look over your journaling from last week and pick one of those things that got you all excited, something that makes you happy or would make you happy. Now, write about it some more. If 30 minutes was a little daunting for you...go for 10 minutes. The more you write, you may realize that you actually want some more time! Just don't put any pressure on it, this is supposed to be fun, therapeutic and eye-opening. If you didn't start a journal last week or if you had a hard time coming up with a happiness-inducing list, go to the second link above, read over some of the journal prompts and let yourself be inspired. Until next week, have fun and be well!

WooHoo for Wellness!

Wellness is a concept that dates at least as far back as the Ancient Greeks. For at least 2500 years, mankind has been striving to obtain and maintain overall wellness in life. In case you’re wondering, wellness is defined by the National Wellness Institute as ‘an active process of becoming aware of and making choices toward a more successful existence.’ What do they mean by ‘successful’? Earning six figures, having the corner office, driving the newest, biggest, shiniest German import? Not at all, actually.  ‘A more successful existence’, in fact, consists of having a better understanding of concepts like: destiny, health practices, spirituality, family, environment, work, money and security, health services, social support and leisure. It’s about finding balance among all of these elements. It’s about taking care of your body through proper nutrition and regular movement. It’s about having healthy and satisfying relationships and feeling connected to your world. It’s also about pursuing those things in life that make your toes tingle and your stomach flip. It’s about feeling ALIVE! And perhaps the most important factor to remember is that it’s also about connecting all of these elements in a balanced, harmonious way.

Every one of us has something inside called an inner guide, also known as our intuition or a ‘gut feeling’.  This thing we call our inner guide drives us to pursue our personal wellness. According to psychologist Abraham Maslow, who’s responsible for a ton of groundbreaking work in the field of wellness in the 1960’s, our inner guide ‘rarely disappears in the normal person-perhaps not even in the sick person. Even though denied, it persists underground, forever pressing us, urging us towards wholeness and full expression of our true selves. We are driven by a nagging sense of feeling unfulfilled, that our lives are incomplete and we will never feel fulfilled until we achieve something great (to us)’. So, we have this amazing driving force that reminds us and guides us to pursue our wellness, so, why isn’t everyone running around with optimal physical health and an overall feeling of fulfillment?  Well, we have another force residing inside of us as well-the yin to our yang that is our inner guide. This force is a little less encouraging. It exists with good intentions yet never encourages growth or overall wellness. It  causes us to cling to safety, avoid taking chances; it discourages us from upsetting the status quo. It is our inner guide’s meddling cousin: our inner critic. A fear-driven cautious force, a nagging, annoying, sometimes mean inner critic telling us that we’re not __________ enough (smart, funny, rich, attractive, young, old, etc.) to do this or that . This can be discouraging, so our challenge here is to allow and also encourage ourselves to tune into our inner guide despite what our inner critic has to say.

               

 

I want to further delve into a very important point regarding our journey towards wellness: whatever it is we’re pursuing, it  has to be something that is great to us. You and I cannot strive to express ourselves in a way that simply pleases someone else. That satisfaction and wholeness we’re trying to grab simply won’t materialize. So you have to ask yourself, what do I want to do/be more than anything else? What will make my heart sing every single day? Competing in a tri-athalon? Painting a mural on your bedroom ceiling? Growing an organic garden in your backyard? Maybe you’re driven to compose a song, eat sushi in Tokyo, collect antique tea cups, start your own website, have a family, live in a tree house in Bali….I could go on forever here-the potential for inspiration is endless. My point is-do what you love, be well and feel nurtured and satisfied for yourself. The brilliance and radiance of your wellness will be beneficial and far-reaching. And in case you’re concerned, actively pursuing your wellness is not at all an act of selfishness. The fuller you feel, the more that those wonderful feelings will overflow and positively impact everyone around you. Don’t believe me? Just think back to a time that you were genuinely happy and having a great day…you were more joyful and kinder towards others, right? You probably noticed a lot of returned smiles and kindness coming right back…and they probably treated the next person they encountered with extra love, too. So, you see, it’s not at all selfish to be happy; you can’t help but pass it on to others, who benefit and pay if forward, too.

               

As we’re all aware, life is an amazing gift. Every day, every hour, every minute, every second-you will never get them back, so why not be well? Why not be on the constant, conscious pursuit of living your life to your fullest potential? Why not follow your dreams? Why not take immaculate care of your body so your mind can be happy, too? Why not live a life of wellness that inspires others to do the same?

                 

Now here’s your homework for this week….grab a notebook and a pen and take 30 minutes for yourself…find a calm, quiet place and get comfy. Now take a deep breath and just think about what makes you happy or what would make you happy and let your mind wander.  Let yourself dream and imagine all sorts of things. Don’t limit your thoughts or criticize or judge them. Anything goes here-just let them exist and evolve. Now start paying attention to what makes you tingle. What gives you butterflies in your stomach? What makes you feel excited and alive? Write these things down in your notebook, along with how they make you feel. Excited, nervous, apprehensive, happy? Jot it all down and stay tuned….